Saddam on Cops
They finally captured Saddam Hussein today. He was found in a mud hole with several guns and $750,000 US in cash. I thought it would been funny if his capture was shown in the usual COPS-style:
The cops are responding to a domestic dispute at Saddam’s mud hole. Upon arriving they find Saddam standing outside without a shirt on and his hair and beard all shaggy.
Cop: “So, can you tell me what happened here tonight?”
Saddam: “Uhh, nothing officer. I mean, I was just settling down for the night and my neighbours came over and just started screaming at me.”
Cop: “Ok, I see. Do you mind if we do a search of your mud hole?”
Saddam: “Yeah, umm, sure. But you aren’t going to find anything there anyways.”
(Cops search the mud hole and find $750,000 in $100 bills along with several high-powered guns)
Cop: “Can you explain where you got all of this money?”
Saddam: “Yeah, umm, I just sold my DVD player and stereo to another guy earlier today. I didn’t have time to deposit it into the bank yet.”
Cop: “You sold those for $750,000? That’s alot of money for a few electronics, don’t you think?”
Saddam: “Well, I guess so. I mean, it was a good stereo system. And my brother also gave me a few thousand that he owed me.”
Cop: “How much did your brother give you?”
Saddam: “Umm, yeah, my sister gave me about $10,000″
Cop: “I thought your brother gave you the money?”
Saddam: “Umm, no, it was my sister actually. Yeah, my sister gave me a few thousand.”
Cop: “And what about these high-powered guns?”
Saddam: “I have no idea where those came from!”
Cop: “But this is your mud hole, right? You must know how they got there.”
Saddam: “I was robbed last week. The robbers must have left their guns behind.”
Cop: “Ok, I see. Well frankly I don’t believe your story, seeing how your name is engraved in the barrel of each gun.”
Saddam: “Oh yeah, those are my guns. Umm, I’m a member of the rifle range here in Tikrit. That’s why I have the guns.”
Cop: “Ok then. Well I was just talking with your neighbours and they tell me that you often cause many problems here in the neighbourhood. Therefore, I’m going to put you under arrest for the possession of un-licensed firearms and domestic disturbance.”
(Saddam makes a run for it but is soon tackled to the ground by three cops)
Saddam: “I’m innocent. I didn’t do anything, let me go!”
(Saddam starts to cry)
Saddam: “My mother is going to be so mad at me. Please, let me go. I don’t wanna go to jail.”
(Saddam is put into handcuffs and led to the backseat of the cop’s cruiser)
Cop: “Watch your head.”