Seinfeld in Toronto Review
An awesome night was had at Massey Hall where Jerry Seinfeld played to a packed house of around 2,700.
I headed downtown shortly after 5:00 and had the usual supper at Quizno’s Subs before heading over to Massey Hall at 6:30. My seat was in the 5 rows up in the left gallery with a decent view of the stage. The show was about 10 minutes late starting and Mario Joyner was the opening act who did a 15 minute routine before Seinfeld took the stage for his hour-long act.
To put it in true Seinfeld terms, Jerry’s routine was about “nothing”. His material covered jokes about the weather, cell phones, married life, and old people. It was definetely classic Seinfeld style. He finished off the evening with an encore of taking questions from the audience. This included him reminiscing about his favorite Seinfeld episodes and performing a “Hello, Newman” which was hilarious.
Here are some of the funniest jokes of the night, atleast the jokes that I can remember (may not be word for word but you get the idea):
“Men want the same things in a relationship as they want in their underwear. A little bit of support and a little bit of freedom.” - Seinfeld
“People often ask me ‘Do you think the weather is going to stay like this?’, and I always reply ‘Yes, I’m sure it will change. We are, after all, living on earth. The weather always changes.’” - Seinfeld
“Did you ever realize how the meaning of ’suck’ and ‘great’ are so close to each other? You have an ice cream which falls off the cone and onto the floor. This is definetely a ’suck’ situation. But what do you say? ‘Oh, great!’” - Seinfeld
“Everybody’s life sucks. Of course, my life doesn’t suck as much as your lives do.” - Seinfeld
“People say that life is too short. I’d say that life is too long. We can accomplish everything we want in life by the time we are 15. But instead we tend to prolong it and fill up void moments in our life with mundane activities. We have people just sitting on cruise ships filling out crosswords.” - Seinfeld
“People say that rapper 50 Cent is the luckiest man alive because he was shot 9 times and is still alive. I haven’t been shot once so I must be 9 times luckier than 50 Cent.” - Joyner